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Sacred Time and Energy for Lovemaking

In a study of two thousand Christian women, the number one sexual issue was not desire but “finding the energy for sex”.




When we carefully devote time, energy, money or ourselves to a person or cause, we have made that cause “sacred”. Couples sacredly dedicate their time and energy to raising their children or serving in their church. Do they treat their sex life with the same sacredness? Not usually!


Time can be such a powerful aphrodisiac, but it is such a scarce commodity. Couples would like to think that out of love and desire they would automatically make time for each other. In reality, it takes thought, planning and “structured spontaneity.” Be careful not to overvalue being organic and spontaneous. In your marriage and sex life, you can honor both. I remember the couple who hadn’t made love in three months. I encouraged them to create some structured spontaneity and they decided early Saturday mornings would become their sacred lovemaking time. Their final words in leaving my office was that I had destroyed all their spontaneity. I’m sorry---three months with no sex. I like the Dr. Phil line: “And how is that working for you?”


What are the optimal times that a couple has to talk and make love?: When the kids are in bed? On Friday night or Saturday morning? That Tuesday evening when nothing else is scheduled? These times must be set aside and sacredly guarded. Then within that framework, lovers can create spontaneity to become intimately connected and make love with playful creativity.



Where do you find extra energy in the midst of very busy schedules? In a study of two thousand Christian women, the number one sexual issue was not desire but “finding the energy for sex”. What can couples do to remedy the energy drain? Let dad take over and insist on mom taking a long bath. Wives can help insure some “cave time” for their hubbies. Both may need to provide time for the other to take a nap on the weekend or get some exercise and personal recreational time.


Time and energy! Bless you as you get proactive and create those sacred times and conserve some energy for amazing lovemaking.



 

About the Author

Dr. Doug is a psychologist, pastor, LMFT and sex therapist who has listened to over 55,000 hours of stories.

Doug enjoys using this practical wisdom in writing (best seller: A Celebration of Sex), teaching, and mentoring.


Get Connected with Dr. Doug by visiting his website, dougrosenau.com

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