• douglasrosenau

Passionate Playmates

A foundational element for an awesome sex life in marriage requires couples to become wise and passionate playmates. Learning new things and wisely applying this knowledge depends upon effective communication. Couples must create a mutual sexual language for their love life and intentionally communicate before, during and after lovemaking. Wise lovers learn the accelerators for fun sexual connecting and problem solve the brakes. For example, list the five senses. Now discuss what are turn-ons and turn-offs for touch, smell, sight, sound and hearing.

A wise covenant playmate is knowledgeable about anatomy, techniques and sexual responses. This can require reading good books, having the courage to try new behaviors and developing different attitudes. Remember, the Holy Spirit promises to guide us into wisdom (John 16). This includes learning crucial sexual information and engaging in playful lovemaking.

A great sex life doesn’t just happen. Passionate playmates intentionally pursue one another and find optimal times for lovemaking. Lovers must tune into their senses and mindfully attend to pleasurable feelings. Great lovemaking takes place in the child-ego state where mates are free to be uninhibited, curious and adventurous. Couples may need to go to an amusement park occasionally and ride the roller coasters. Then come home and continue that child-like enthusiasm in their bedroom.

“I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in His presence, rejoicing…and delighting in mankind.” Proverbs 8:30, 31

God intended wise and passionate playmates to enjoy a lot of laughter and a bonding playfulness. What a privilege I have as a counselor and sex educator to guide couples in encouraging playfulness---a key ingredient for an incredible sex life. If you are a counselor or a mate trying to enjoy your sexual connecting, consider more carefully what attitudes and skills could help lovers become passionate playmates!


About the Author

Dr. Doug is a psychologist, pastor, LMFT and sex therapist who has listened to over 55,000 hours of stories.

Doug enjoys using this practical wisdom in writing (best seller: A Celebration of Sex), teaching, and mentoring.

Get Connected with Dr. Doug by visiting his website,

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